Monday, July 30, 2012

Story Of My Life

Alright, here we go.  Get ready for a long blog post.  So...we did IVF again for the 5th time back in August of 2011.  I ended up getting pregnant, but it only lasted for 6 weeks. :( DEVASTATING!

My medications to prepare for invitro! Crazy huh! 
I love me some needles.
I took a home pregnancy test while Curtis was at the store.  I was on the floor in shock that it actually said "Pregnant".  I have NEVER seen Pregnant before. I seriously almost peed my pants!  Curtis got home and I told him I had to show him some funny pictures on my camera.  He started looking through them and saw the "Pregnant" picture and immediately started crying.  It was like...FINALLY!  After all the struggles and multiple rounds of IVF...we were finally going to be parents!  I will never forget how we felt that day.

Curtis bought me flowers and balloons the next day!

Six weeks into the pregnancy I started spotting (Saturday night).  Curtis googled it and the internet said spotting can be normal at about 6-8 weeks of pregnancy.  Curtis was still freaking out so we went to the ER Sunday morning.  I got my Beta HCG score back and knew it didn't look good.  I wasn't progressing like I should be at 6 weeks.  I was waiting in the ER for an ultrasound to confirm what we already pretty much knew.  They were taking forever...and my sister's baby blessing was at 1pm.  Our ER Dr. said we could run to the baby blessing then come back to the ER afterwards and get the ultrasound.  My whole family was in town, so we left the ER and made it in time for the blessing.  Curtis and I were both extremely emotional at the baby blessing, and wanted to know what the ultrasound would say, so we left and ran to the AF ER to get the ultrasound - which confirmed that the baby wasn't growing.  Two weeks later I had a D&C. Horrible! 

So now what?? 5 rounds of IVF, no baby, and no answers.  The Dr. could not believe that it hasn't worked for us yet.  What do we do now?  Another round of IVF? Adoption? What?  We met with LDS family services and started looking into the adoption route.  We did the mandatory orientation and adoption education, went to the adoption conference at UVU, met with birthparent panels, etc. but it just didn't feel right for me yet.  I was stuck on having a biological baby.  Which led us to looking into using a gestational carrier.

About 2 years ago - after 3 rounds of failed IVF cycles - my brother's wife Jamie made the comment, "I'd totally have a baby for you guys."  We kind of laughed and were thinking, "Yea right, there's no way she'd really do that."  Then she got pregnant with her 4th baby and said, "After I have this baby, I'll just pop one out for you guys."  We still thought, "No way, she's just saying that."  Then a few months after she delivered her baby she asked us "So when am I getting implanted?" We finally asked her if she was serious.  We asked her what my brother thought of this all, knowing it would have to be a joint decision.  She told us that they had already talked about it and both thought it was a great thing.  Curtis and I were floored. Who would do that?  Who would go through all this IVF crap without having to?  Who would get fat and put their life on hold for a year to be pregnant for someone else? Jamie!  She's freakin' amazing.  So Curtis and I talked about it and thought it was such an awesome opportunity for us.  We met with Tyler and Jamie the next day for lunch and asked everything...What if you had twins? What if you were put on bed rest? What if you had to have a c-section? What if, what if, what if?  She still was 100% for it.  So we started the process...

We talked with our Dr. to see what we needed to do to get the ball rolling.  You have to be legally, mentally, and physically cleared before going through with a gestational carrier.  We already had 4 embryos in storage, so we planned on doing a frozen invitro transfer. 
Both couples met with a psychologist to be mentally cleared.  She asked us random questions about our childhood and what our relationships were like with our parents.  She even asked if we hear voices that no one else hears. (Like we are really going to say yes even if we do haha...) Both couples passed with flying colors. 

We met with a lawyer and set up a contract.  They ask every question imaginable - Can Jamie eat fast-food while she's pregnant? Can she dye her hair while she's pregnant? How many embryos is she willing to implant? How many rounds of IVF can she commit to? What happens to the baby if Curtis and I die while Jamie is pregnant? And many, many more!  We all pretty much agreed with every question asked, but it still took forever for the contract to be finalized and gain legal clearance. But we finally did. 

Then we all met with our Dr. to be medically cleared.  He went over Jamie's history of her previous pregnancies.  They took TONS of blood and urine from all of us to check for any infectious disease that we could pass to Jamie or that Jamie could potentially pass to our baby.  We all passed! 
Kim & Curtis' medical clearance package.
Urine cup and blood tubes. 

The stupid medical clearance boxes were $250 each, plus $40 shipping. $250 for a freakin' urine cup and a few blood tubes?? Are you kidding me? Then the actual blood draw was $390 each. CRAZY!! 
All the meds Jamie had to take to prepare for implantation! 
The day of transfer we got Jamie a little relaxation package.  She had to be on bed rest for 24 hours post transfer so we wanted her to take it easy with some magazines, movies, and treats :)
The morning of embryo transfer - June 24th, 2012.  I was still in shock that Jamie was actually doing this for us.  It felt like someone was donating me a kidney.  (except it was a uterus).  She was helping us with something that we obviously couldn't do for ourselves.  It was such a selfless moment! 
The fun tools
Ultrasound machine
The incubator with our 2 embryos!  We had 4 frozen embryos, but only 2 survived the unthawing process.  So we implanted the two remaining.

Thing 1...
and Thing 2  :)
Curtis & Tyler huggin' it out
Jamie & Kim hoping/wishing for the best.
That night we took Tyler & Jamie's kids home with us for a sleepover so Jamie could completely relax the next day!  :)
Ten days later Jamie took a home pregnancy test that said "Not Pregnant". We were devastated once again.  On July 5th, 2012 she went in for a blood test which confirmed Not Pregnant. What the heck? Now what?
We are giving it one last try.  We plan to do a fresh IVF cycle in a little over a month. We'll see.  This is pretty much our last hooray.  Wish us luck!
Read Jamie's story here.


Unknown said...
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The Dabo's said...

I would do it another 10 times if it meant on the tenth time you got a baby. You are seriously going to be the best parents because of all this patience you are learning.

(I deleted the one before because I was logged into my ward account!)


The whole process is AMAZING!
Technology today!

I am so sorry it didn't take. I was devastated when I heard.

You guys are great examples of not giving up! And I know for sure you will have a baby one way or another.
Praying for this FRESH BATCH!

Duncan Family said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Duncan Family said...

You and Jaime are seriously amazing! You're so strong Kim! I love you tons! I pray everyday that you'll get to have a biological baby! You're going to be the best mom! Love you guys!

Kat said...

Kim, you're amazing. This story made me cry!! What an incredible story. I sincerely hope it works for you guys. You are such a great couple. Sending good vibes your way, and prayers, too!

The Pearson's said...

Thank you so much for sharing! I loved reading this. I am again, so sorry to know that you guys have to go through all this pain and heart ache. Jamie is amazing. I love her. Keep up the courage and fight to get what you want. I Hope it will happen. Maybe some of us can do a family fast. I have a strong testimony of fast and prayer as it has recently blessed us tremendously! Keep us posted! Love you tons!

Michelle Kelly said...

I am in Jamie's ward and was praying so hard for you guys and her. I was so upset when I heard it didn't work. I will keep praying hard for you guys. I have told all my friends and family about you and Jamie! I think you are amazing for what you have been through and for Jamie for what she is doing!

Josh and Megan said...

Wow! I'm in tears! What a selfless sister in law you have! WOW! I'm so sorry that this has been the most bumpy, rocky and ridiculous road for you! You guys deserve to be parents and someday you will be. I'm sorry again for all of this.

Misses Barlow said...

I love you Kimmy. Keep your head up. Miracles happen.