Obviously, I've always wanted a family. When you're little you think first comes love, then comes marriage, then comes a baby in a baby carriage. I just thought once I got married - a family would just come naturally. Not so much. Once we traveled down the route of using a gestational carrier I knew that would mean I would never carry a baby. But at that point I really didn't care. I just wanted a family. Going through the process you obviously wish it was you carrying your own baby, feeling him kick/move/hiccup, being able to nurse, etc. but I was just so grateful for Jamie that you just kind of push those feelings aside. You know that in the end the only thing that matters is you have a baby!!
After the triplets were born - all those feelings of wanting to be pregnant disappeared. I was just so incredibly happy with my three babies and that Jamie was healthy and doing well too. I was so grateful for everything Jamie had done for us. She was our freaking saving grace. Things were perfect. I was actually grateful that I didn't have to recover from a c-section or vaginal birth. I could just jump in right away and be the best mom I knew how to be. Once the process is over you just look on the bright side and see all the benefits of not carrying your own babies. Yea, I couldn't breastfeed my babies, but oh well. They got breast milk while they were in the NICU and formula is just fine. Formula and a bottle meant that other people could help me feed the babies - which I needed anyway.
Then six months later I get pregnant. Are you kidding me??? Just when all those thoughts and feelings about wanting a baby so bad and wanting to experience pregnancy had gone away. I was so happy with my little (big) family. I felt like I had finally mastered (sort of) being a triplet mom. I finally had things under control and felt like I could do it on my own. Now…was I excited to be pregnant? Of course. Well, I think I was in shock for the first couple months, but then I was excited. It's something I'm sure every girl wants to experience, but it just happened at the craziest time.
I actually thought I would hate being pregnant. I'm not one who loves being nauseous, getting fat, or possibly getting stretch marks. But my pregnancy was pretty great (minus the acne). My nausea was mild, weight gain wasn't bad, back pain was tolerable, and I didn't end up with any stretch marks. Gaining weight during pregnancy is different than just getting fat. For some reason it didn't bother me at all. I actually liked my little baby bump. I got to feel my baby kick and hiccup. I got to talk to him. I was able to exercise the whole pregnancy and still be a triplet mommy. The last week was pretty uncomfortable, but I'm sure all prego women feel that way. Regardless of how great my experience was, it made me appreciate Jamie SO much more for the sacrifice she made for us. Now, don't get me wrong, I've always thought what Jamie did was incredible. But going through the process on my own has exponentially opened my eyes to what a selfless act that was. I seriously can't believe she offered to do that for us. All the fertility treatments, shots, Dr's appointments, time of pregnancy and healing afterwards, carrying TRIPLETS… I'm still in awe of her. I'm not one to get emotional, but just thinking about what she did for us gets me every time. I have three healthy, beautiful, perfect children forever because of her. I still don't understand how we got so lucky. Curtis and I have been extremely blessed.