Saturday, July 26, 2014

My Thoughts On Pregnancy...

Obviously, I've always wanted a family.  When you're little you think first comes love, then comes marriage, then comes a baby in a baby carriage.  I just thought once I got married - a family would just come naturally.  Not so much.  Once we traveled down the route of using a gestational carrier I knew that would mean I would never carry a baby.  But at that point I really didn't care.  I just wanted a family.  Going through the process you obviously wish it was you carrying your own baby, feeling him kick/move/hiccup, being able to nurse, etc. but I was just so grateful for Jamie that you just kind of push those feelings aside.  You know that in the end the only thing that matters is you have a baby!!  

After the triplets were born - all those feelings of wanting to be pregnant disappeared.  I was just so incredibly happy with my three babies and that Jamie was healthy and doing well too.  I was so grateful for everything Jamie had done for us.  She was our freaking saving grace.  Things were perfect.  I was actually grateful that I didn't have to recover from a c-section or vaginal birth.  I could just jump in right away and be the best mom I knew how to be.  Once the process is over you just look on the bright side and see all the benefits of not carrying your own babies.  Yea, I couldn't breastfeed my babies, but oh well.  They got breast milk while they were in the NICU and formula is just fine.  Formula and a bottle meant that other people could help me feed the babies - which I needed anyway.  

Then six months later I get pregnant.  Are you kidding me???  Just when all those thoughts and feelings about wanting a baby so bad and wanting to experience pregnancy had gone away.  I was so happy with my little (big) family.  I felt like I had finally mastered (sort of) being a triplet mom.  I finally had things under control and felt like I could do it on my own.  Now…was I excited to be pregnant?  Of course.  Well, I think I was in shock for the first couple months, but then I was excited.  It's something I'm sure every girl wants to experience, but it just happened at the craziest time.  

I actually thought I would hate being pregnant.  I'm not one who loves being nauseous, getting fat, or possibly getting stretch marks.  But my pregnancy was pretty great (minus the acne).  My nausea was mild, weight gain wasn't bad, back pain was tolerable, and I didn't end up with any stretch marks.  Gaining weight during pregnancy is different than just getting fat.  For some reason it didn't bother me at all.  I actually liked my little baby bump.  I got to feel my baby kick and hiccup.  I got to talk to him.  I was able to exercise the whole pregnancy and still be a triplet mommy.  The last week was pretty uncomfortable, but I'm sure all prego women feel that way.  Regardless of how great my experience was, it made me appreciate Jamie SO much more for the sacrifice she made for us.  Now, don't get me wrong, I've always thought what Jamie did was incredible.  But going through the process on my own has exponentially opened my eyes to what a selfless act that was.  I seriously can't believe she offered to do that for us.  All the fertility treatments, shots, Dr's appointments, time of pregnancy and healing afterwards, carrying TRIPLETS…  I'm still in awe of her.  I'm not one to get emotional, but just thinking about what she did for us gets me every time.  I have three healthy, beautiful, perfect children forever because of her.  I still don't understand how we got so lucky.  Curtis and I have been extremely blessed. 


Alison said...

Hi! I've been reading your blog for months (don't remember how I found it) and have been cheering for you and your little (as in young, not really little, haha) family. I was wondering how things were going since there was a couple week gap in your postings but was ecstatic to see you had posted again. I am really hoping that you and your newly expanded family are doing well. I can't even believe you actually had time to post anything with FOUR babies--- you go girl! I will continue to cheer for you guys!

Cheryl Brown said...

Kim, you are definitely Julie Dabo's child. I can't believe that you up and writing this soon. I have always admired your mother's organizational skills and she has definitely passed them on to her offspring. I am simply in awe. You mentioned in your post that, " had finally had things under control (with the triplets) and felt like I could do it on my own....". I couldn't ever imagine myself with 3 babies at once, and premmies at that, and be able to hold things together as well have you have been able to do so.

It would be an accomplishment in my book that you just got up each day fed them, played with them and took them to the park. But no, you have recorded ever step in their lives over this past year and celebrated each milestone, without missing a beat. You go the whole nine yards for each event. In the meantime, you manage to go to the gym most days, even with the three of them in tow, and maintain a household while still at the same time making sure that you and your family are present at all family events. And you manage to do it all and be cheerful at the same time.

I think many women in your position would have told family and friends, "I've got 3 babies, I'll see you in 18 years", and most people would have understood. When you described the other day the idea of craving those IHOP pancakes and going to IHOP to order take out Pancakes and have to buckle 3 kids in and take them out I got exhausted just reading about it. Even though you decided to forgo that craving the many trips to Target
and Costco with the children and the wagon, I just had to shake my head. Simple tasks like running to the store when you have 3 toddlers is a huge ordeal and you manage to turn it into an adventure. How lucky those kids are to have Julie Dabo's daughter as their Mom. You do it every day and you make it look easy. But we out here watching and reading about it from afar, know that it is not easy. And it could not have been easy running behind 3 toddlers, always making them feel loved and happy when you're pregnant and being stretched to your core and then some from within. But you always managed to do so, and look great in the process, and always have a cheerful heart.

I stand in AWE of you. You have my admiration, my appreciation, and always my love and support for all you do because you are truly SPECIAL. You have set a standard for yourself that few women could hope to attain, and you made it look easy in the process, when all of us out here watching knew that it couldn't have been easy. I'm grateful every day to have you as my daughter-in-law, the love of my son's life, and the mother of my grandchildren.

Glad you're able to rest comfortably once again, if only for a brief while.

Love ya, Cheryl

The Dabo's said...

Awe thanks Kim!!!! I would do all over again in a heart beat. But I'm so glad you could experience pregnancy yourself. Everything has crazily worked out!